It’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog. It’s my fault, really. Posting something new for a week straight sort of burnt me out. But some things have come up that I have become more cognizant of and feel like I should say something so here it is: ‘Stop all the bitching, people! Seriously.’
We’ve all got our own set of issues and problems that we need to work out. Life would be pretty boring if we didn’t. With that said, not everyone wants to spend their entire day listening to other people bitch and moan about trivial things (why do you think psychologists are paid so well?) Sure, it feels good to vent to a close friend about how crappy your day was at work and school or how miserable you feel in your current relationship and, as a good friend, sometimes you’ve just got to sit there and listen to hours of inconsequential gibberish. But if you have a real problem, sitting around bitching about it will not help and only make you and those closest to you a little more miserable.
We all know at least one person who just simply bitches about eeeeverything. At the airport the other day, I ran into the Bitch Queen. Never have I ever seen someone literally complain about everything, until I met the Bitch Queen. We all know airports suck. It’s a proven fact that we must just all deal with but this lady must not have gotten the memo. I had the great pleasure of standing in front of her on line at the check-in counter. After complaining the entire time to no one in particular about how long the line was and how slow it was moving (service was pretty quick if you ask me,) she makes a big deal about having to take her shoes off at security and having to put her bag through the scanner. She was cute so I placated her as much as I could. We were on the same flight so she decided to tag along because “this stupid airport is too damn confusing.”
As we’re walking to our gate, my thoughts quickly shifted to, ‘I hope there are no complications with the plane while it’s in the air’ to ‘I hope I don’t sit next to her on this flight because I would bring that plane down myself.’ Thankfully, she went with first class and I was in coach. Once we sat down at the gate and waited to board the plane, all hell broke loose with this lady. As if sitting with your flight delayed isn’t inconvenient for the typical airline traveler, try it with someone who would make Kanye West look like Mother Theresa when it comes to douchebaggery. On the bright side, it was good to save battery on my laptop while I was being entertained as this lady berated the airport staff, comparing them to Nazi’s.
It wasn’t until we finally boarded the plane and I got settled in that I thought about how horrible that woman must make her own life. She obviously had money and good health and I gathered from conversation that she was engaged but from simply being around her for a short period of time, she seemed like the most miserable person on Earth and couldn’t fathom why until I ran across an old saying that goes:
“Your problems are only as big as you make them. They can seem like a ripple, or a tidal wave. But you’re always the only one who creates it.”
So, if you’ve got a problem, here’s what you should do instead of bitching: either change the way you assess and handle the situation or remove yourself completely.
But let us delve deeper into this matter, since the unprecedented amount of bitching going on in today’s society very clearly warrants it. No matter what perceived dilemma we may find ourselves in, no single act, person, entity, or thing but ourselves can dictate our reactions to the situation at hand. What I mean by that is, no matter what shitty things may be going on around you, those things do not need to, nor should they, interfere with your emotions or how you feel about yourself. This is not to say I’m trying to convert everyone over to living in a permanent state of blind-optimism. In some cases, the best thing to do is just get the fuck out and never look back. Let’s take a look at a hypothetical example:
This lonely guy has been single for a while and finally meets an attractive girl who’s willing to date him. Ecstatic that a girl like her would be into a guy like him, he is instantly whipped; whatever she wants, he gets her. Upon realizing that he is with a selfish, conceited bitch, our pal must now take a look at the facts and make a decision. Assuming he does what any man with a spine would do and stands up for himself in the relationship, he then faces three certain scenarios: 1. She realizes the error of her ways and makes some much-needed character changes for the betterment of the relationship, 2. She realizes that he is aware of her methods of manipulation and leaves him for another unsuspecting idiot or, 3. She’ll lie and tell him she will work on it and he’ll be dumb enough to stay and believe it.
Assuming our pal chooses the option seemingly most miserable people (at least the constantly-bitching population) would take, scenario #3. Chances are, as his friend, we’re going to constantly hear him bitch about how horrible the relationship is and then when we provide him with the only remaining solution (running away as fast as humanly possible) and chances are, depending on the current level of bitchness our friend has obtained, he doesn’t listen and the constant bitching and moaning ensues until he runs out of friends and bitches about why he doesn’t have friends to his girlfriend until she too leaves him and he’s right back to where he started. Alone.
Many people would rather put up with all the bullshit of being in a miserable relationship simply for those few moments of feeling wanted and needed in an attempt to build up self-esteem and self-worth. Some people will deal with the scum of the earth just to have someone to call a boyfriend/girlfriend or work in miserable conditions just to splurge on the latest piece of electronics. Don’t know about any of you guys, but that doesn’t sound like an even exchange to me.
I used to work a pretty cushy job over at FOXNews. The work was simple and the pay was amazing considering the amount of actual labor put in. Too bad everything else sucked though. I couldn’t help but sit down at my desk every morning feeling absolutely miserable and then leave in the afternoon feeling even worse. Simply put, I hated my job. I could’ve easily stuck around, collected a paycheck, felt worthless, and repeated until I’m old enough to retire. The reason I didn’t is because I value my happiness far more than I value any other unnecessary material goods. Ever since then, I’ve been broke but as happy as ever. (Maybe the homeless are onto something after all. It would at least explain why there’s so many of them.)
I also understand that not everyone is as fortunate to be in the situation I was in regard to my living situation and actually need every paycheck they get to feed themselves and their families. The typical person working two demeaning, minimum wage jobs has every right to bitch about what a bad day they had. The mentally tough person will simply do what they have to do because there is no other choice and be happy to do it because they know it’s for a greater good, which takes us back to that old saying I previously mentioned. Instead of gripping on how tough their day was, a well-adjusted person will take it all in stride because they know they’re doing the right thing. Instead of staying in a destructive relationship just for companionship, someone with proper self-esteem would split and keep looking.
What this all boils down to, at least for me is, I am a big proponent to the old saying, “you can do anything if you set your mind to it.” I truly believe that if we desire something so badly out of life and we make it our mission to obtain it, we will. Even happiness.
I was pretty depressed for a short period after graduating college. What helped me out of it was not crying out for attention so that people would notice me and feel sorry for me and listen to me bitch and moan about how horrible things are. Instead, I took a good, hard look at myself, focused on all of my positive attributes and came up with a plan to change the negative aspects of my life, doing at least one thing a day to make myself a better person. I was unhappy with my situation at the time and made being happy my ultimate goal. I’m still in the discovery process of finding exactly what will make me most happy in life but the confidence and self worth I discovered at the lowest moment in my life has me firmly behind the driver seat on my pursuit of happiness.
In a nutshell, all I’m saying is, instead of being
The summation is:
ReplyDeleteParty Cat
p.s. I love it.